We believe that as a mentor, independent of your knowledge base and expertise, the most significant gift you can offer a partner are "Lessons for Life" - which can be loosely described as a person's ability to manage his or herself and relate to other people. These are based Daniel Golemans book, Working with Emotional Intelligence*.
Helping your partner learn and continually develop these lessons can be a lasting legacy. The Lessons for Life are what Goleman and others have called emotional intelligence competencies. Why bother? Researchers have shown that these competencies matter twice as much as IQ or technical skills in job success (and we believe for increased life satisfaction and success).
How do you teach these Lessons for Life, create behavior change? Were not sure, hopefully others will share tools and ideas which will be presented on this home page. In general the approach is to help the partner gather data from multiple sources to take stock of their current behavior for each lesson, providing feedback in a supportive way, and helping the partner establish learning goals, make choices and plan for specific developmental activities. Then fostering many opportunities to practice the desired behavior while supporting and monitoring progress. The goal of lasting behavior change requires sustained practice. The Partner's Journals, and the Six Steps For Design Of Learning Experiences discussed elsewhere on this home page are useful tools in helping develop these behaviors
For now, let us start with a descriptive list of those competencies that make up the Lessons for Life and within the purview of the mentor-partner relationship. The list can help inventory those behaviors which are strengths and those where lessons can be developed to learn new behaviors. No one is perfect, nor is it realistic to strive for perfection in all these areas. Jointly evaluate and pick those that are critical for your partner's life, job, and career satisfaction.
* Goleman, Daniel. Working with Emotional Intelligence. 1998. Bantam Books. New York: New York. ISBN 0553-10462-4
Go to top of page
Matt Starcevich, firstname.lastname@example.org